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Funny birthday messages

One more year of existence down the drain. Happy Birthday!

The only reason you hate your birthday is because people give you odd gifts, scary cards with weird messages in them, and because you're getting older. Anyway, Happy Birthday!

It's ok to light the candles on your birthday cake now; I've already alerted the fire department.

Don't think of it as getting older, think of it as becoming a classic.

An old fart is as good as a new one.

You've survived another year. Although you're older, it's better than the alternative. Congratulations!

You age like cheese... You just keep getting smellier!

Is it getting hotter in here or is it just all the candles on your cake?

There were a lot of famous people born on your birthday. Too bad you aren't one.

With age comes wisdom. (You're one of the wisest people I know!)

I was trying to think of what to get you for your birthday but nothing came to mind.

You're not old until you can't read this writing anymore. (written in real small text)

Happy Birthday, you're not getting older you're just a little closer to death.

To the nation's best kept secret; Your true age.

Birthdays are like boogers, the more you have the harder it is to breathe.

Birthdays are good for you. Statistics show that people who have the most live the longest!

Money's tight
Times are hard
Here's you friggin birthday card

Growing old is mandatory; growing up is optional.

Better to be over the hill than burried under it.

You are only as old as you act.

 
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Chief Wiggum: Okay folks, show's over. Nothing to see here, show's... Oh my god! A horrible plane crash! Hey everybody, get a load of this flaming wreckage! Come on, crowd around, crowd around!

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The perversity of nature is nowhere better demonstrated by the fact that, when exposed to the same atmosphere,bread becomes hard while crackers become soft.Nabisco

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