After many years of trying to find steady work, I finally got a job as a historian, until I realized there was no future in it.
I managed to get a good job working for a pool maintenance company, but the work was just too draining.
Our policy is to always blame the computer.
Smart boss + smart employee = profit
Smart boss + dumb employee = production
Dumb boss + smart employee = promotion
Dumb boss + dumb employee = overtime
We are the 1st option!
A computer DOES save time at work. I can play solitaire without having to spend all that time shuffling real cards.
Lampner's Law of Employment: When leaving work late, you will go unnoticed. When you leave work early, you will meet the boss in the parking lot.
I earn a seven-figure salary. Unfortunately, there's a decimal point involved.
To err is human.
To forgive is against company policy.
I tried to be a tailor, but I just wasn't suited for it.
Mainly because it was a sew-sew job.
Murphy's Law: Office equipment that has broken down will work perfectly when the repairman arrives.
I became a professional fisherman, but discovered that I couldn't live on my net income.
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