* A bad cold wouldn't be so annoying if it weren't for the advice of our friends.~ Kin Hubbard
* It is a mathematical fact that fifty percent of all doctors graduate in the bottom half of their class. ~ Unknown
* If I'd known I was going to live so long, I'd have taken better care of myself. ~Leon Eldred
* Physical ills are the taxes laid upon this wretched life; some are taxed higher, and some lower, but all pay something. ~Lord Chesterfield
* I reckon being ill as one of the great pleasures of life, provided one is not too ill and is not obliged to work till one is better. ~Samuel Butler,
* Get-well cards have become so humorous that if you don't get sick you're missing half the fun.
* A Jewish woman had 2 chickens. One got sick, so the woman made chicken soup out of the other one to help the sick one get well.
* Be careful when reading health books; you may die of a misprint. ~ Mark Twain
* Sickness is the vengeance of nature for the violation of her laws. ~Charles Simmons
* Sometimes I get the feeling the aspirin companies are sponsoring my headaches. ~V.L. Allineare
* When an illness knocks you on your ass, you should stay down and relax for a while before trying to get back up. ~Candea Core-Starke
* Warning: Humor may be hazardous to your illness. ~Ellie Katz
* Happiness is your dentist telling you it won't hurt and then having him catch his hand in the drill. ~ Johnny Carson
* I learned a long time ago that minor surgery is when they do the operation on someone else, not you. ~Bill Walton
* I enjoy convalescence. It is the part that makes the illness worthwhile. ~ George Bernard Shaw
* I wonder why you can always read a doctor's bill and you can never read his prescription. ~Finley Peter Dunne
* You have a cough? Go home tonight; eat a whole box of Ex-Lax - tomorrow you'll be afraid to cough.~ Pearl Williams
* If I had my way I'd make health catching instead of disease. ~Robert Ingersoll
* The art of medicine consists of amusing the patient while nature cures the disease.~ Voltaire
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